Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
