So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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