A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
