So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
