Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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