More tranny stories later!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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