Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
