My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
