i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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