His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There's even glitter on my cock...
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