i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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