please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
