Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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