its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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