First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
