physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
