Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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