Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
