Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
