I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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