I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
