Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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