I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
