I'm jealous of your bromance
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize