her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
