guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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