U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
