dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
