brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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