i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
