great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
