Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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