We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize