Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
