So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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