Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
