I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
