I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
