Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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