Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize