Say something about gay babies.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
why is half of my head shaved?
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