he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize