Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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