Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
