all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
