i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
