Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
