She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
