i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
