Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Randomize
