I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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