dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
