we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
