On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
