The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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