You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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