North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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