areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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