Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
