Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize