weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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