We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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